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Friday 18 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46149) - you deserved it (6325)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56035) - you deserved it (9589)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML

#20920168
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (4302)

On 10/14/2013 at 2:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

#20930913
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47180) - you deserved it (4846)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44336) - you deserved it (6676)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

#20925040
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39754) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/18/2013 at 10:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43953) - you deserved it (6552)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

#20921448
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44037) - you deserved it (5147)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:51am - work - by collegegrad (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48241) - you deserved it (4379)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51801) - you deserved it (4711)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46340) - you deserved it (5094)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44563) - you deserved it (3632)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49231) - you deserved it (4809)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)



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