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Friday 18 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

#20923587
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37209) - you deserved it (27014)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56925) - you deserved it (5381)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43512) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47086) - you deserved it (6550)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47844) - you deserved it (5375)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51162) - you deserved it (5825)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46719) - you deserved it (5564)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63377) - you deserved it (4895)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45732) - you deserved it (4658)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (5490)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46835) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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