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Monday 7 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41857) - you deserved it (4464)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57679) - you deserved it (3294)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML

#20920258
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43730) - you deserved it (6608)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:32pm - health - by soccer_bball (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42728) - you deserved it (3704)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47886) - you deserved it (7834)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42058) - you deserved it (4666)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39005) - you deserved it (3299)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44954) - you deserved it (7542)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42076) - you deserved it (3761)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

#20916348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39128) - you deserved it (2855)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

#20918462
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40492) - you deserved it (4144)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by Water Daughter - United States

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

#20917232
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (3209)

On 10/12/2013 at 2:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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