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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42055) - you deserved it (5182)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42614) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

#20914766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35863) - you deserved it (6138)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47669) - you deserved it (4178)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40295) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38342) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML

#20905054
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39425) - you deserved it (2987)

On 10/02/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Couch Potato - United States (California)

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (4701)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (2952)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39069) - you deserved it (6444)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)

Today, my parents favoritism towards my brother really shone through when we moved house and he got the nicest and by far biggest room. I wouldn't mind, but my brother is in college overseas and never comes home. FML

#20905397
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44876) - you deserved it (2461)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML

#20915163
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43301) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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