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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43388) - you deserved it (3255)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after watching an episode of New Girl, my boyfriend became obsessed with the "Cotton-eyed Joe" song. He won't stop playing it. FML

#20906604
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36979) - you deserved it (4507)

On 10/03/2013 at 10:56pm - love - by Annoyed - United States (Maryland)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42740) - you deserved it (3630)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43160) - you deserved it (5307)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48501) - you deserved it (4269)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

#20914766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (6242)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39946) - you deserved it (6546)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, my parents favoritism towards my brother really shone through when we moved house and he got the nicest and by far biggest room. I wouldn't mind, but my brother is in college overseas and never comes home. FML

#20905397
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46587) - you deserved it (2577)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41486) - you deserved it (3571)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42173) - you deserved it (4787)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39753) - you deserved it (3059)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML

#20915163
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44764) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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