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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34164) - you deserved it (6479)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (6088)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36889) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36032) - you deserved it (2552)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37670) - you deserved it (2995)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18082) - you deserved it (36091)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35470) - you deserved it (2695)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

#20916326
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (8753)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by FriutlessApple (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

#20912330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37564) - you deserved it (5969)

On 10/08/2013 at 10:34am - money - by moneymoneymoney (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36904) - you deserved it (3398)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (46960)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44825) - you deserved it (2778)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML



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