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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML

#20913357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (9281)

On 10/09/2013 at 12:22am - health - by SunshineX7 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

#20916348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41500) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45734) - you deserved it (7792)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51751) - you deserved it (9092)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44214) - you deserved it (4924)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42104) - you deserved it (8805)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48917) - you deserved it (5815)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46188) - you deserved it (3901)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53307) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

#20916326
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36171) - you deserved it (10478)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by FriutlessApple (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (16785)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49436) - you deserved it (5147)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33118) - you deserved it (17110)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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