Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42996) - you deserved it (3603)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (3000)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML

#20913357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (8797)

On 10/09/2013 at 12:22am - health - by SunshineX7 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48056) - you deserved it (8455)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46545) - you deserved it (5552)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32722) - you deserved it (6354)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42500) - you deserved it (4771)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39014) - you deserved it (8222)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30371) - you deserved it (16046)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41395) - you deserved it (16115)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51131) - you deserved it (4355)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45266) - you deserved it (4717)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: