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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50850) - you deserved it (8960)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42774) - you deserved it (4792)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41313) - you deserved it (8650)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48005) - you deserved it (5722)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (3816)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32825) - you deserved it (6361)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52376) - you deserved it (4465)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43853) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45834) - you deserved it (7661)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42158) - you deserved it (16457)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (16061)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35335) - you deserved it (3073)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

#20907125
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41309) - you deserved it (5667)

On 10/04/2013 at 12:05pm - health - by likeyourboss (man) - Denmark



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