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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (54752)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45116) - you deserved it (4857)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49257) - you deserved it (3874)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48615) - you deserved it (3747)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50747) - you deserved it (5293)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44677) - you deserved it (3240)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45441) - you deserved it (5706)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46737) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35733) - you deserved it (6833)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (3808)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46426) - you deserved it (11593)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)



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