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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38418) - you deserved it (4639)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42386) - you deserved it (3166)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (4224)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

#20905582
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (45056)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:41am - money - by wellcrap - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (21915)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (3380)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42694) - you deserved it (3248)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

#20916348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37369) - you deserved it (2729)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (7022)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39585) - you deserved it (3014)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39143) - you deserved it (2604)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)



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