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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

#20915931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42219) - you deserved it (4734)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45475) - you deserved it (6245)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54391) - you deserved it (3892)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61591) - you deserved it (3576)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48209) - you deserved it (3598)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41972) - you deserved it (3583)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47646) - you deserved it (3602)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46583) - you deserved it (7775)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44803) - you deserved it (3897)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (25975)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49618) - you deserved it (8107)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

#20905582
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (50661)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:41am - money - by wellcrap - United States (Texas)



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