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Saturday 21 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67263) - you deserved it (4083)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58742) - you deserved it (37523)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50240) - you deserved it (11269)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18107) - you deserved it (89414)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51753) - you deserved it (6324)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54026) - you deserved it (4958)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47634) - you deserved it (8752)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61999) - you deserved it (7263)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40312) - you deserved it (3924)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45377) - you deserved it (3432)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43425) - you deserved it (9984)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

#20883830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48919) - you deserved it (7673)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by Jake - United States (Oregon)



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