Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42853) - you deserved it (3624)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20430) - you deserved it (34493)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40586) - you deserved it (2487)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63436) - you deserved it (2844)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

#20886551
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (7275)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37706) - you deserved it (12112)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (2982)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46407) - you deserved it (2441)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (11008)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50627) - you deserved it (5747)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: