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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66865) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (2643)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

#20886551
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47629) - you deserved it (7688)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54118) - you deserved it (6159)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (36489)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (19416)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46510) - you deserved it (2450)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19035) - you deserved it (38241)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)



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