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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

#20875739
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (11755)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (6056)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my wife, my Candy Crush addiction hit me full force, and all I could do was think about possible moves I could make in the level I'm stuck on. FML

#20890032
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (43075)

On 09/21/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by CandyCrushAddict (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (37582)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (2679)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44883) - you deserved it (4920)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML

#20890415
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32840) - you deserved it (9797)

On 09/21/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML

#20879898
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (10015)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by CHEERS, TUMBLTARD (woman) -

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42623) - you deserved it (4550)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (2487)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (6248)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41670) - you deserved it (3819)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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