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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (11422)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53853) - you deserved it (6235)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40718) - you deserved it (6948)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46327) - you deserved it (5241)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (6411)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43611) - you deserved it (19402)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

#20876765
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54167) - you deserved it (3440)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:30am - love - by AnonymousLoser (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, while having sex with my wife, my Candy Crush addiction hit me full force, and all I could do was think about possible moves I could make in the level I'm stuck on. FML

#20890032
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24687) - you deserved it (48062)

On 09/21/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by CandyCrushAddict (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML

#20879898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (11059)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by CHEERS, TUMBLTARD (woman) -



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