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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43780) - you deserved it (4973)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40499) - you deserved it (6140)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46399) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39053) - you deserved it (5756)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46195) - you deserved it (4408)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

#20869986
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43623) - you deserved it (2503)

On 09/06/2013 at 8:10am - misc - by theblackrose23 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42847) - you deserved it (5439)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35244) - you deserved it (2623)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44746) - you deserved it (3632)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, in French class we had to write love letters as an exercise. Since my boyfriend recently broke up with me by text message, I ended up writing a 20-sentence love letter in French to my cat. FML

#20878541
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (3870)

On 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm - love - by Frenchie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40222) - you deserved it (7996)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

#20871260
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51306) - you deserved it (4376)

On 09/07/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by ...thanks (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML



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