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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (6030)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

#20871127
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48247) - you deserved it (3083)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50778) - you deserved it (3933)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49657) - you deserved it (6299)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47089) - you deserved it (2366)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42839) - you deserved it (6992)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45995) - you deserved it (2407)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML

#20869973
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (8371)

On 09/06/2013 at 7:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49562) - you deserved it (5695)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

#20875739
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32350) - you deserved it (11755)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45849) - you deserved it (4614)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)



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