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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49747) - you deserved it (3969)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (3531)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

#20870154
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53378) - you deserved it (6646)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by jesus christ, dad (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57398) - you deserved it (4813)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50776) - you deserved it (2640)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37884) - you deserved it (5410)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50128) - you deserved it (5011)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML

#20869973
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38473) - you deserved it (9259)

On 09/06/2013 at 7:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

#20875739
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36088) - you deserved it (13111)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

#20875776
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50102) - you deserved it (4329)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46989) - you deserved it (7619)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments


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