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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

#20871127
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50328) - you deserved it (3244)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (3469)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50943) - you deserved it (2786)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

#20870154
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53356) - you deserved it (6645)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by jesus christ, dad (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54577) - you deserved it (4587)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41390) - you deserved it (6929)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44577) - you deserved it (7268)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, my former high school bully became my manager. FML

#20871927
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61004) - you deserved it (3702)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40741) - you deserved it (6952)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50755) - you deserved it (2640)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML

#20869973
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36786) - you deserved it (8979)

On 09/06/2013 at 7:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)



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