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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48665) - you deserved it (5861)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

#20870380
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50299) - you deserved it (3320)

On 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55255) - you deserved it (6385)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38836) - you deserved it (7107)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48789) - you deserved it (5415)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42936) - you deserved it (3656)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

#20870423
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23000) - you deserved it (45596)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by howprofessional (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42289) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53209) - you deserved it (5772)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45411) - you deserved it (7263)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML

#20868766
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45837) - you deserved it (11738)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:49am - money - by OweLotsaMoney - United States

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

#20871774
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47449) - you deserved it (3733)

On 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm - work - by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt (man) - United States (Virginia)



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