Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
533 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (141793)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21251) - you deserved it (107164)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24233) - you deserved it (96793)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18425) - you deserved it (92899)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76240) - you deserved it (4373)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

#20879472
166 comments

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53125) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48500) - you deserved it (20411)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54316) - you deserved it (6178)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58502) - you deserved it (13101)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24934) - you deserved it (72088)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

#20870911
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50588) - you deserved it (7032)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: