Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (138931)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19739) - you deserved it (99741)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23735) - you deserved it (94960)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (91235)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72726) - you deserved it (4119)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

#20870911
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49688) - you deserved it (6919)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52628) - you deserved it (5989)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52275) - you deserved it (3399)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59539) - you deserved it (24755)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57594) - you deserved it (12912)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47808) - you deserved it (20130)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

#20879472
166 comments


FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: