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Sunday 1 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
524 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (134180)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19681) - you deserved it (99260)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22307) - you deserved it (65532)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26834) - you deserved it (92492)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51762) - you deserved it (13524)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53349) - you deserved it (6923)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54186) - you deserved it (6070)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

#20857966
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30901) - you deserved it (53106)

On 08/28/2013 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49631) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

#20858850
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33589) - you deserved it (8132)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:07am - misc - by Pontiacman92 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50057) - you deserved it (5707)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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