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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35555) - you deserved it (18645)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45484) - you deserved it (6612)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41711) - you deserved it (5143)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37002) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized how nice it was that, after moving into my ground-floor apartment, I no longer have to worry about being too loud walking on the floor at night. Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbors do not have any qualms about shouting or stomping their feet loudly at night, either. FML

#20865605
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (3149)

On 09/03/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

#20855520
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37916) - you deserved it (3140)

On 08/26/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

#20858957
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (3251)

On 08/29/2013 at 6:44am - love - by sorejecteditmakesmewannacry (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

#20861161
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38968) - you deserved it (2344)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by Tag (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

#20863679
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31773) - you deserved it (8521)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm - work - by OnCompanyTimeToo (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37585) - you deserved it (2689)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put scribbles, lines, shapes and random words on my calendar just to make it seem like I was busy. This isn't the first time. FML

#20867690
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (8035)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by cherbear1000 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

#20865600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36298) - you deserved it (9908)

On 09/03/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CodyS - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

#20864858
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34119) - you deserved it (5497)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:40pm - work - by laughing-stock - United Kingdom (Swindon)



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