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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

#20863852
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42140) - you deserved it (14682)

On 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44433) - you deserved it (2524)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (7793)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39895) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46250) - you deserved it (3519)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36222) - you deserved it (2376)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19188) - you deserved it (39332)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38983) - you deserved it (13174)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60095) - you deserved it (6673)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40209) - you deserved it (2716)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (2612)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46863) - you deserved it (6797)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36527) - you deserved it (2862)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)



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