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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41808) - you deserved it (3678)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36096) - you deserved it (2365)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18229) - you deserved it (37483)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (3168)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45654) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

#20863339
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37369) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (2403)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (2594)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (13143)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46961) - you deserved it (2537)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59915) - you deserved it (6657)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34428) - you deserved it (2662)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

#20856229
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39139) - you deserved it (3148)

On 08/27/2013 at 6:17am - kids - by Idontknowwhattodo (man) - United States (California)



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