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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60096) - you deserved it (4284)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42739) - you deserved it (6936)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got my wedding photos back from my sister, a "professional" photographer who offered to do our wedding as a gift. It turns out that not only did she not catch most of the ceremony or reception, but all of the outdoor photos feature a large garbage bag in the background. FML

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41697) - you deserved it (4914)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45867) - you deserved it (3125)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42249) - you deserved it (3653)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46282) - you deserved it (2744)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (3127)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

#20863302
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39416) - you deserved it (3312)

On 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm - work - by aisbash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39967) - you deserved it (3421)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (6695)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)



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