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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

#20863339
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38884) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48307) - you deserved it (2634)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46272) - you deserved it (3519)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44726) - you deserved it (2553)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36236) - you deserved it (2379)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19387) - you deserved it (39695)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46480) - you deserved it (3856)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40715) - you deserved it (13721)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46882) - you deserved it (6800)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36854) - you deserved it (2901)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40222) - you deserved it (2717)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37307) - you deserved it (19510)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)



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