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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59401) - you deserved it (4723)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50776) - you deserved it (2640)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44997) - you deserved it (3244)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55102) - you deserved it (7007)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56433) - you deserved it (3311)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

#20862012
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42306) - you deserved it (3811)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43045) - you deserved it (6497)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (3657)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

#20863302
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40356) - you deserved it (3380)

On 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm - work - by aisbash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43946) - you deserved it (4990)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

#20859193
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (3411)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41039) - you deserved it (6711)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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