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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (11880)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43652) - you deserved it (4440)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (9204)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55902) - you deserved it (4096)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43724) - you deserved it (2862)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42685) - you deserved it (4776)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47978) - you deserved it (11765)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43475) - you deserved it (3235)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45147) - you deserved it (3657)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40649) - you deserved it (2540)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at the beach. I'd recently decided to try the "life hack" where you empty out a bottle of lotion and hide small valuables in it, to avoid them being stolen. I'd put the bottle in my bag. Instead of stealing stuff from inside it, though, someone just stole the whole bag. FML

#20853767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38241) - you deserved it (9708)

On 08/25/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

#20846337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52368) - you deserved it (8744)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by LizzyJones - United Kingdom (Derby)



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