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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at the beach. I'd recently decided to try the ( life hack ) where you empty out a bottle of lotion an hide small valuables in it, to avoid them being stolen. I'd putted the bottle in my bag. Instead of stealing stuff from inside it, though, someone just stole the whole bag. FML

#20853767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38125) - you deserved it (9684)

On 08/25/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover mah husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope u don't mind but when u got to go, u got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. real FML

#20857413
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (3173)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:48am - misc - by Grandmas lost it - United States (New York)

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new ere and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

#20844606
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37259) - you deserved it (6737)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - work - by oops (man) - United States (Nebraska)

TODAY , I WANT TO THA MALL WITH MAH GIRLFRIAND TO BUY SOMA NAW CLOTHAS , AND I TURNAD AROUND TO GIVA HAR A QUICK KISS . MY LIPS WARA HALF-WAY TO "HAR" FACAHAN I SAW INSTAAD THA FACA OF ANOTHAR LADY . SHA SLAPPAD MA . MY GIRLFRIAND WAS STANDING NAXT TO MA , VARY PISSAD OFF . MAGA FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42790) - you deserved it (9032)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, ma mom putted me in carge of er looool business's Facebook. Later, I was doing omework and took a Facebook break, canging ma status to ( So fucking boring. ) I'd forgotten to log out of te business account. FML

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

#20853472
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (42660)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:50am - misc - by jameen - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound lyk I'm crying . I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay . FML

#20856552
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46456) - you deserved it (11406)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today... I cummed into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40512) - you deserved it (2528)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I Lerened Thathen A Heavily-pregnant Friend Asks About My Progress With The Baby Socks I Promised To Knit, It's Rather Unwise To Tell Her, ( Not To Worry, We're Set Even If It Comes Out With A Few Feet Too Many. ) She's Still Crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (11201)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, during one of mah frst days as a teacher, a student stole mah phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40731) - you deserved it (4592)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I won a lottery looool at my local grocery store . Excitd, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of rd wine . I'm a recovering alcoholic . FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42092) - you deserved it (3097)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

yesterday I had sex. The guy textd me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55114) - you deserved it (8306)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing Charades with mah boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". mega FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52831) - you deserved it (3839)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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