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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

#20852629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57454) - you deserved it (7527)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45949) - you deserved it (3735)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39346) - you deserved it (4367)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54398) - you deserved it (7830)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43641) - you deserved it (4784)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47869) - you deserved it (3541)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm watching a TV show about horrible germs in hotel rooms that you can catch from a bed... while I am stuck in a hotel room... on the bed. FML

#20851748
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40798) - you deserved it (7705)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:28am - health - by HannahBretts - United States (California)

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42131) - you deserved it (3005)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

#20847442
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39251) - you deserved it (3536)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

#20854169
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40548) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm - misc - by etgohome (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after spending the weekend together, my ex turned nasty. I finally had the balls to tell him what a cruel asshole I think he is and really hit him where it hurts. I felt very empowered and strong. That is, until I realized I left my favourite and rather expensive jacket in his apartment. FML

#20854612
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40697) - you deserved it (16056)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:52am - love - by scorned_jacketless_lady (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

#20844855
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44558) - you deserved it (8620)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by insensitive prick (man) - United States (Illinois)



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