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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56085) - you deserved it (5023)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML

#20846305
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46266) - you deserved it (3123)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm - kids - by CrappyDay - United States

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53113) - you deserved it (6075)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43421) - you deserved it (5608)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43659) - you deserved it (16354)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44516) - you deserved it (5226)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49260) - you deserved it (11928)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48750) - you deserved it (15889)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

#20849199
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (13347)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:48am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

#20852500
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50597) - you deserved it (2736)

On 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41980) - you deserved it (7565)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51765) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)



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