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Sunday 18 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54397) - you deserved it (7830)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

#20835243
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41663) - you deserved it (5236)

On 08/13/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by martyn28 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

#20835321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50607) - you deserved it (4099)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm - love - by hairless by death - United States (California)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42515) - you deserved it (3442)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43640) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54241) - you deserved it (3296)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20843576
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43384) - you deserved it (4798)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by FMLdude - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55013) - you deserved it (4013)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I'm watching a TV show about horrible germs in hotel rooms that you can catch from a bed... while I am stuck in a hotel room... on the bed. FML

#20851748
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40797) - you deserved it (7705)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:28am - health - by HannahBretts - United States (California)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (42067)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

#20847442
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39249) - you deserved it (3536)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

#20854169
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40547) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm - misc - by etgohome (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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