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Sunday 18 August 2013

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Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

by baconbxtch / 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 5:58pm / Mexico / Health

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

by Blink_me26 / 08/19/2013 at 12:50am / Australia (Victoria) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

by shut_up / 08/21/2013 at 10:08am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

by fUcKOAHdSAjl / 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Health

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

by Sinkhole / 08/24/2013 at 11:27am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

by ShadowReiku / 08/22/2013 at 10:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm / Isle of Man / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

by fucking financial ruin / 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love