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Sunday 18 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

#20833453
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41565) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:19am - work - by nearly a crazy lady - United Kingdom

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

#20851161
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45130) - you deserved it (2977)

On 08/23/2013 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

#20834187
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (7821)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

#20840431
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25598) - you deserved it (42779)

On 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm - animals - by fUcKOAHdSAjl (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41458) - you deserved it (16226)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47116) - you deserved it (5608)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48461) - you deserved it (7768)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

#20852629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57333) - you deserved it (7519)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

#20836611
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (3778)

On 08/14/2013 at 2:41am - misc - by HoratioNo (man) - United States (California)



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