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Sunday 18 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54136) - you deserved it (7062)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50017) - you deserved it (3431)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48416) - you deserved it (11646)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48032) - you deserved it (15631)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25294) - you deserved it (38412)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

#20853995
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47001) - you deserved it (5003)

On 08/25/2013 at 5:36pm - work - by jeed(1) (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56865) - you deserved it (3579)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51019) - you deserved it (5201)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
113 comments

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66525) - you deserved it (8448)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41139) - you deserved it (7449)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)



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