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Sunday 18 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

#20850517
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43960) - you deserved it (3833)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:06am - health - by themarrowguy - United States

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54520) - you deserved it (3414)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45264) - you deserved it (10633)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41229) - you deserved it (5301)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40660) - you deserved it (15137)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38728) - you deserved it (7120)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46036) - you deserved it (14919)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
113 comments

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49588) - you deserved it (5046)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23949) - you deserved it (36360)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47073) - you deserved it (19404)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)



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