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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML

#20844207
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42279) - you deserved it (2625)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by Ben - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

#20842523
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40523) - you deserved it (6207)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached for the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. FML

#20845667
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37187) - you deserved it (5298)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by nice guys finish last - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML

#20843134
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37239) - you deserved it (2887)

On 08/18/2013 at 1:29pm - work - by ssssssssuck a dick, boss (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40730) - you deserved it (2789)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

#20843210
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41561) - you deserved it (4109)

On 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by 12345678910 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

#20847276
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40099) - you deserved it (7068)

On 08/21/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Beegee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48687) - you deserved it (14909)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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