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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48804) - you deserved it (4315)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

#20833453
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39763) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:19am - work - by nearly a crazy lady - United Kingdom

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

#20840549
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43136) - you deserved it (7202)

On 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46916) - you deserved it (7609)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38430) - you deserved it (15123)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45509) - you deserved it (5435)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

#20836611
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (3489)

On 08/14/2013 at 2:41am - misc - by HoratioNo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

#20835321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48298) - you deserved it (3917)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm - love - by hairless by death - United States (California)

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

#20847442
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (3406)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)



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