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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49598) - you deserved it (5046)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23950) - you deserved it (36368)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47075) - you deserved it (19404)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42472) - you deserved it (3277)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65953) - you deserved it (8393)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49433) - you deserved it (6227)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45422) - you deserved it (22314)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44854) - you deserved it (3062)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I won a year's supply of bath bombs in a competition. I live in a tiny flat by myself with only a shower. I also have to find somewhere to put the bath bombs. FML

#20836641
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36321) - you deserved it (5725)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by KnowWhereYourTowelIs (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

#20837780
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38087) - you deserved it (6757)

On 08/14/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by ShitStirringSon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

#20834187
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (7386)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

#20840431
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (41240)

On 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm - animals - by fUcKOAHdSAjl (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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