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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46054) - you deserved it (3107)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46145) - you deserved it (4662)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45214) - you deserved it (5458)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57019) - you deserved it (6360)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41277) - you deserved it (2772)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37605) - you deserved it (6948)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42608) - you deserved it (20895)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, I won a year's supply of bath bombs in a competition. I live in a tiny flat by myself with only a shower. I also have to find somewhere to put the bath bombs. FML

#20836641
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33349) - you deserved it (5363)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by KnowWhereYourTowelIs (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

#20833453
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37158) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:19am - work - by nearly a crazy lady - United Kingdom

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44776) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

#20834187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (7221)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)



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