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Sunday 11 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28501) - you deserved it (39974)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47655) - you deserved it (7680)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52572) - you deserved it (4177)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

#20840549
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43192) - you deserved it (7207)

On 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I realized that my boyfriend only has sex with me to get me to shut up. FML

#20827840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47727) - you deserved it (20216)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by blissful oblivion (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

#20834922
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47337) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54255) - you deserved it (3931)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53068) - you deserved it (3206)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

#20830424
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48573) - you deserved it (11433)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:48am - love - by fml (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I submitted my big assignment to my teacher at 1:55pm. The deadline was 2pm. She rejected it, because her watch read a few minutes after 2pm, and she maintains that the time on her watch is the "real" time. FML

#20840255
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47149) - you deserved it (12394)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:04pm - misc - by WatchOut - Singapore

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (15144)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22283) - you deserved it (44669)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



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