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Sunday 11 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49063) - you deserved it (4342)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

#20830989
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46665) - you deserved it (3446)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47537) - you deserved it (3220)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35994) - you deserved it (28035)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52402) - you deserved it (6851)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48948) - you deserved it (9004)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55859) - you deserved it (3791)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52333) - you deserved it (3960)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, I realized why my water bill has gone down so much. My 16 year old daughter now only feels it necessary to shower whenever her boyfriend is going to come over. FML

#20822231
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47895) - you deserved it (4906)

On 08/05/2013 at 3:10pm - kids - by OhBoy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (44258)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54621) - you deserved it (3419)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)



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