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Sunday 11 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50961) - you deserved it (3489)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58691) - you deserved it (4005)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51096) - you deserved it (9385)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59806) - you deserved it (4944)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

#20830989
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49848) - you deserved it (3685)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (47238)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56008) - you deserved it (4267)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (28892)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
115 comments

Today, I realized why my water bill has gone down so much. My 16 year old daughter now only feels it necessary to shower whenever her boyfriend is going to come over. FML

#20822231
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50381) - you deserved it (5105)

On 08/05/2013 at 3:10pm - kids - by OhBoy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

#20822176
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54022) - you deserved it (6699)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by Sexless4Life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48555) - you deserved it (9474)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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