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Sunday 11 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car ash tray. FML

#20833889
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41217) - you deserved it (6560)

On 08/12/2013 at 2:54pm - misc - by amayasoma - United States (Louisiana)

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "ew". FML

#20832005
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45011) - you deserved it (4329)

On 08/11/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by ew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

#20830066
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41828) - you deserved it (6312)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

#20827542
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63551) - you deserved it (4723)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59625) - you deserved it (5454)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61617) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51050) - you deserved it (5621)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47680) - you deserved it (4781)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54540) - you deserved it (7138)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56497) - you deserved it (6393)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58549) - you deserved it (4847)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44139) - you deserved it (13958)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49105) - you deserved it (4344)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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