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Sunday 21 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

#20783934
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42667) - you deserved it (4485)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:41am - misc - by sammy77sam (man) - Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre)

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50552) - you deserved it (3607)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47821) - you deserved it (3234)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

#20792695
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52278) - you deserved it (4363)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42315) - you deserved it (4996)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

#20806774
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37160) - you deserved it (23695)

On 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by ¬_¬ (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55689) - you deserved it (2915)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41818) - you deserved it (9036)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML

#20807824
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57183) - you deserved it (3876)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49964) - you deserved it (4383)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML



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