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Sunday 21 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53338) - you deserved it (4107)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47058) - you deserved it (9245)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

#20806007
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49802) - you deserved it (3970)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:26am - misc - by kilamo80 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41800) - you deserved it (2779)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50462) - you deserved it (9648)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42451) - you deserved it (28489)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (5018)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56052) - you deserved it (4206)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

#20801125
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55457) - you deserved it (6281)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

#20796495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49993) - you deserved it (3882)

On 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by sabrinatarmine_ - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

#20783934
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45154) - you deserved it (4716)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:41am - misc - by sammy77sam (man) - Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre)

Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML



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