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Sunday 21 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64858) - you deserved it (5635)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

#20790603
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59140) - you deserved it (6318)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

#20784225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46687) - you deserved it (4199)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm - misc - by helpme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. They were having signings, but only the first one hundred could get one. When I finally got to the desk, they said I was number hundred and one, and to get lost. FML

#20795083
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52772) - you deserved it (4122)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

#20795568
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46494) - you deserved it (3810)

On 07/21/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Ghostly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59684) - you deserved it (5778)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

#20790160
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50202) - you deserved it (6431)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:53am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67886) - you deserved it (4010)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55556) - you deserved it (4678)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54254) - you deserved it (17637)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML



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