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Sunday 21 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing hysterically. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53025) - you deserved it (7002)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58055) - you deserved it (7551)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57730) - you deserved it (6882)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46171) - you deserved it (2411)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

#20792517
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51882) - you deserved it (3407)

On 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm - kids - by getmeoutofthiscountry (man) - United States

Today, I'm expected to buy a bassinet and/or a stroller/car-seat for my nephew because my brother trusted the pullout method for contraception. FML

#20785515
150 comments

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56685) - you deserved it (3719)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (2958)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61783) - you deserved it (6193)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43453) - you deserved it (8600)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)



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