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Tuesday 16 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50248) - you deserved it (3452)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting freaky with mah boyfriend an told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me to tell him what to do. Continuing, I askd him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replid, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56361) - you deserved it (12018)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

2day I was in a restroom reading looool this site hen another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands dried them nodded at me then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so werd except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48943) - you deserved it (8122)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Taday I had to pull ona of thosa toy stratchy hands out of mah dog's butthola . It slappd ma in tha faca whan I finally got it out . FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57355) - you deserved it (6796)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

TODAY , I ASKED THIS REALLY CUTE GRL FOR HER NUMBER. I HAD NOTHING ELSE ON ME SO I TOLD HER TO WRITE IT ON A DOLLAR BILL. LATER , WITHOUT THINKING , I PUT IT IN A VENDING MACHINE. I FREAKED OUT AND FRANTICALLY PUSHED THE RETURN BUTTON. IT GAVE ME BACK QUARTERS. FML

Yesterday, I overheard my rippd, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently acceptd my weight, after struggling fir years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

#20790160
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48595) - you deserved it (6227)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:53am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I was about to make a left turn . In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting 4 the light to change . On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said ( Honk if u love Jesus! ) I gave her a honk and waved . She leaned out and yelled , ( The light's red , asshole . ) mega FML

#20786059
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (13580)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held mah cat above mah head Lion King style !! The hieght must have made him nervous, because he shat on mah head !! FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (50584)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with friends,hen I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. ( Hey! ) I yelld, and he lookd up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his drection, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54777) - you deserved it (17073)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50333) - you deserved it (3702)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessd to being broke, then actually askd if he could pay me with sex instead . FML

#20797604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52615) - you deserved it (3989)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today,hile texting my boyfriend , I noticed that he copies an pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. fat FML

TODAY, I CALLED A TREE REMOVAL COMPANY TO HAVE MAH DISEASED ELM REMOVED. WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK, I WAS SURPRISED TO FIND IT STILL THERE. NOT AS SURPRISED AS MAH NEIGHBOR WAS TO DISCOVER THAT HIS TREE WAS MISSING, NOR AS SURPRISED AS HIS CHILDRENHEN THEY SAW THERE WAS NO MORE TREE-HOUSE. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53782) - you deserved it (4020)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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