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Sunday 14 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49470) - you deserved it (4430)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48016) - you deserved it (5341)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65405) - you deserved it (5164)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

#20790528
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20628) - you deserved it (43434)

On 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45803) - you deserved it (4789)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49304) - you deserved it (6810)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

#20773891
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45132) - you deserved it (13961)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:58am - animals - by kutekittykatz (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49448) - you deserved it (3009)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52894) - you deserved it (4620)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32276) - you deserved it (47829)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49515) - you deserved it (3540)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)



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