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Sunday 14 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60184) - you deserved it (4717)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48230) - you deserved it (4229)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

#20792281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (3449)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39784) - you deserved it (8728)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41894) - you deserved it (11923)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51701) - you deserved it (2634)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (4416)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

#20772988
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41756) - you deserved it (4960)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by tonedef (man) - United States

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

#20773891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39661) - you deserved it (12123)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:58am - animals - by kutekittykatz (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44139) - you deserved it (3091)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48678) - you deserved it (3298)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

#20790528
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (38979)

On 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (10333)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)



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