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Sunday 14 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (9578)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54267) - you deserved it (4453)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67985) - you deserved it (5081)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39261) - you deserved it (4900)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

#20786957
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63592) - you deserved it (5000)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by me:( - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48442) - you deserved it (14502)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53759) - you deserved it (4689)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29873) - you deserved it (57897)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46604) - you deserved it (4849)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (48468)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

#20779019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49607) - you deserved it (3095)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anna - United States (New York)

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53156) - you deserved it (4277)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)



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