Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 14 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today,hile texting my boyfriend , I noticed that he copies an pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. fat FML

TODAY, I CALLED A TREE REMOVAL COMPANY TO HAVE MAH DISEASED ELM REMOVED. WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK, I WAS SURPRISED TO FIND IT STILL THERE. NOT AS SURPRISED AS MAH NEIGHBOR WAS TO DISCOVER THAT HIS TREE WAS MISSING, NOR AS SURPRISED AS HIS CHILDRENHEN THEY SAW THERE WAS NO MORE TREE-HOUSE. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53782) - you deserved it (4020)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

yesterday a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, an asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see y you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (3549)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told mah boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

#20796495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47689) - you deserved it (3772)

On 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by sabrinatarmine_ - United States (California)

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entre ward found out. real FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42932) - you deserved it (6462)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, whila mourning friand's racant passing, dad told ma to shut tha fuck up bacausa "worsa things ara going on in tha world". FML

#20782358
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51217) - you deserved it (4314)

On 07/14/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I told grlfriend about extreme fear of flying roaces. Se immediately got upset cuz se tougt, since I'm from te Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff lyk tat fir breakfast". FML

#20783934
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42667) - you deserved it (4485)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:41am - misc - by sammy77sam (man) - Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre)

Today, I got fired from mah job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined there wedding !! They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them !! They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party !! FML

#20796202
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50558) - you deserved it (3607)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, While At The Doctor's, A Week Overdue With My Frst Child, I Was Told That Sex And Orgasms Can Sometimes Help To Induce Labor . On The Way Home, My Boyfriend Asked For Road Head, Arguing That "She Said That Stuff About Orgasms." Not You, Honey . FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56699) - you deserved it (6775)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in mah gut . It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain . My mom said it was flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from mah hospital bed . FML

#20777668
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52221) - you deserved it (2763)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, mah date said, ( I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented. ) fat FML

#20792695
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52279) - you deserved it (4365)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, after being unemployed for almost two yeres, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from mah bedroom window. mega FML

Yesterday I had my driver's looool test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47971) - you deserved it (13532)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: