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Sunday 14 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52722) - you deserved it (6663)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59840) - you deserved it (21086)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76392) - you deserved it (3865)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58901) - you deserved it (6244)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64976) - you deserved it (11425)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML

#20774058
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58099) - you deserved it (5247)

On 07/10/2013 at 10:18am - love - by Paige (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

#20780398
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61224) - you deserved it (3681)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

#20792517
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57285) - you deserved it (3828)

On 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm - kids - by getmeoutofthiscountry (man) - United States

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45845) - you deserved it (14947)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46075) - you deserved it (9014)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49484) - you deserved it (3275)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)



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