Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47023) - you deserved it (3279)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today , mah husband an I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine . No one acted wasted , until in the last hour mah grandmother started slurring her words an slumping . We thought she was joking , until a doctor at the party confrmed she was having a stroke . FML

Today... I found out how easy it is for people to get into mah flathen I found bailiffs in mah kitchen at 9am. They had pickd the lock to look for someoneho doesn't live at mah address... but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make mah home more secure. FML

Today , I receivd a text from my dad , which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replid , jokingly askd if he had a stroke while writing it. A few second after hitting send , I rememberd the stroke he sufferd last month. FML

#20777593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20610) - you deserved it (50042)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by hellbound (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today I was playing Monopoly with kids!! It was fun an led to some mock fights!! My neighbor who despise me fir being a single mother used it as an excuse to call the cops on me fir "abusing" kids!! They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions!! FML

#20779851
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51297) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I discoverd that mah 8-year old is fully toilet traind when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter.

#20787181
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40929) - you deserved it (8484)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of mah taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke mah nose. FML

#20779010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (9863)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to ona of my bast friand's birthday party bacausa I had baan schadulad to work. Littla did I know that my job on that day would ba satting up tha tants, tablas, an chairs fir that vary birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47683) - you deserved it (4022)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today... I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain... when I accidentally bumpd into a man. He turnd and yelld... "Watch it... u clumsy... ugly bitch"... to which I apologisd and told him about mah arthritis. He stard at me in confusion... then said... "Well... your still ugly"... and walkd looool off. FML

#20785828
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51848) - you deserved it (3558)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY, MY HUSBAND AN I CAME CLEAN TO HIS OVERBEREING PARENTS ABOUT OUR PRIVATE WEDDING. IT STARTED WITH THEM ACCUSING HIM OF MAKING RASH DECISIONS, AN SOMEHOW DESCENDED INTO AN ARGUMENT AMONGST THEMSELVES THAT ENDED WITH HIS MOM DECIDING TO DIVORCE HIS DAD. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (4142)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was mah car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45110) - you deserved it (9184)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, mah dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around an smeared it everywhere. My dog excel at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44298) - you deserved it (4220)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

2day mah boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

#20782878
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (4728)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: