Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (42142)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

#20775381
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51338) - you deserved it (2998)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

#20774465
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42787) - you deserved it (3674)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45154) - you deserved it (6321)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

#20782525
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (58906)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40869) - you deserved it (5520)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46117) - you deserved it (2815)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (34109)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53996) - you deserved it (4214)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

#20777616
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46983) - you deserved it (3812)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (13007)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46283) - you deserved it (3390)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46942) - you deserved it (7814)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: