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Monday 8 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52288) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42027) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60764) - you deserved it (3783)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (45686)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47883) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

#20777593
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21685) - you deserved it (52235)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by hellbound (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62101) - you deserved it (13039)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

#20779851
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53044) - you deserved it (3414)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43250) - you deserved it (10289)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (4431)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47868) - you deserved it (3271)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States



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