Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 8 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

#20782358
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53768) - you deserved it (4520)

On 07/14/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

#20783934
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45959) - you deserved it (4784)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:41am - misc - by sammy77sam (man) - Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54265) - you deserved it (4452)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67983) - you deserved it (5081)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39254) - you deserved it (4899)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53758) - you deserved it (4688)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46603) - you deserved it (4849)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (48468)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

#20779019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49602) - you deserved it (3095)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anna - United States (New York)

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53155) - you deserved it (4276)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (52376)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

#20772988
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (5502)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by tonedef (man) - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: