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Monday 8 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49910) - you deserved it (18194)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48826) - you deserved it (6325)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML

#20775505
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59123) - you deserved it (3753)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:20am - work - by shouldbehappyiguess (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

#20782670
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62460) - you deserved it (3141)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by thatsfine (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

#20782409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56659) - you deserved it (3760)

On 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm - love - by WTF (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

#20777668
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56041) - you deserved it (3040)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

#20781390
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44529) - you deserved it (3847)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:35am - health - by coughcough - United States

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45491) - you deserved it (6837)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56792) - you deserved it (4673)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45018) - you deserved it (5638)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50176) - you deserved it (14186)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48398) - you deserved it (12474)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)



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