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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43474) - you deserved it (3207)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51277) - you deserved it (4317)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47773) - you deserved it (5048)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

#20760393
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (2579)

On 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47040) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

#20761546
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (2689)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:19pm - health - by ToiletTroubles (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it's been three weeks since I moved to Germany with my own money, after my company's offices in Spain shut down. I was given a job at the headquarters here, only to have just found out that the whole company is now set to go into liquidation. FML

#20768805
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40447) - you deserved it (2775)

On 07/07/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45077) - you deserved it (9183)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

#20758869
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38828) - you deserved it (3279)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm - misc - by AwkwardPotato - United States (California)

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40310) - you deserved it (2578)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

#20764553
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (7154)

On 07/05/2013 at 1:43am - animals - by damn dog - United States

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44279) - you deserved it (4218)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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