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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62451) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47959) - you deserved it (5148)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

#20772988
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (5502)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by tonedef (man) - United States

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50300) - you deserved it (4481)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48778) - you deserved it (5409)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57873) - you deserved it (3760)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43774) - you deserved it (3071)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49029) - you deserved it (9623)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

#20766730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50746) - you deserved it (6631)

On 07/06/2013 at 7:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50040) - you deserved it (6884)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

#20773891
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45836) - you deserved it (14171)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:58am - animals - by kutekittykatz (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50327) - you deserved it (3606)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (5199)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)



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